The Vampire Lovers (1970)

Rated:♥♥ (2/5)

The Vampire Lovers is a story about a vampire with lesbian tendencies that was believed to be dead but is actually not. She preys on young women by slowly draining their blood in the night.

The weird thing about this movie is that the characters are fast to deduce that it must be a vampire. Because of this, the lesbian vampire is forced to change her name after every kill and nobody seems to know that it's the same person even though her apperance doesn't change. Another weird thing is that after the young women die, they do not become vampires themselves. Also, there's this other vampire guy who is never really introduced in the movie, he just lurks creepily.

They don't show any sex scenes just a few kisses and the chicks weren't very hot. The acting is pretty crappy but vampires are pretty cool so it gets at least 2/5.


Watch the trailer here.

Drifting Flowers (2008)

Rated: ♥♥♥♥ (4/5)

Drifting Flowers is a combination of three separate storys that are loosely related to one another. The first of the three is about a blind singer struggling to raise her little sister. Problems arise when the club the girl sings at hires a new accordian player, Diego, who wins the hearts of both sisters. The second story is about an old woman with alzheimer's. Her husband, a gay man with HIV returns and the woman is convinced that the man is her dead partner. The third story revolves around Diego(the accordian player) at a young age dealing with body issues.

The biggest issue with the movie is that it was kind of confusing. The timelines don't really seem to add up and it kind of appears that the people in the second story are much older than they should be. Also, it was kind of a bummer. However, we did find the movie very visually stunning. It was shot very well and the chicks in the movie were exceptionally hot - although it should be noted that we have a thing for asians.

Overall, we really liked the movie but not enough for 5/5

Watch the trailer here.

Sugar Sweet (2003)

Rated: ♥♥ (2/5)

Sugar Sweet is about a struggling lesbian porn director who is having trouble conforming to industry standard. She desires to make artistic lesbian porn, but her employers want raunchy and degrading. She apparently is also shooting a television dating show. After deciding to have lesbians on her dating show, she employs one of her friends and some random bitch she meet at the bar. Her life is hectic and the only escape she has is chatting online with Sugar. But who is Sugar really? And why won't she ever meet with her in real life?

This synopsis probably makes this movie sound much better than it really is. The truth is that while the plot itself isn't actually too bad, the movie fails on a technical level. Bad lighting. Bad camera work. And I'm pretty sure if I actually spoke Japanese, I would notice bad acting as well. The only reason this movie deserved even 2 stars is because; 1. the actors were relatively hot and 2. it provided an interesting look into the Japanese lesbian culture. It should also be noted that at points I wondered if this was merely a pink film*, it was so graphic and dirty at times.

Watch the trailer here.

*In case you didn't know, in Japan movies are so highly censored that porn without plotlines aren't allowed. This has caused the need for the genre of "pink films". Meaning, bad movies with barely enough plot to hold it together, but a lot of sex.

Water Lillies (2007)

Rated: ♥♥ (2/5)

Water Lillies is a French film that follows Marie, a girl with an unhealthy obsession with Floriane. Floraine happens to be a highschooler on the synchronized swimming team. They become friends by necesities. Floraine invites Marie to watch their swimming practices so long as she escorts her to and from her house so she may consort with her boyfriend. Floraine toys with her, aware of her attraction, and Marie... well, she just gets creepier; stealing Floraine's trash, staring at vaginas under the water... you know, that type of thing.

This movie will bring you right back to that awkward 15 year old stage where sex is new, girls are suddenly attractive, and you don't even know what's going on with your body. But the real plot of Water Lillies revolves around the topic of the horrible straight girl crush.

We rated it 2 for the following reasons:
1. We don't enjoy sex scenes with children
2. It makes you feel awkward from beginning to end
3. It's hard to relate to the characters and understand their actions
4. The main character is just kinda creepy and hard to empathize with

In the end, we just couldn't bring ourselves to really care about the outcome of the story. And that is as good as any reason to dislike a movie. We gave it 2 stars simply because the acting was okay, the directing wasn't too shabby, it was visually appealing, had an okay soundtrack... but the story, sheesh.

Watch the trailer here.

Therese and Isabelle (1968)

Rated: ♥♥♥♥♥ (5/5)

This little gem is probably a movie you've never heard of nor could you presumably find it at your local video shop. However, it is available on netflix for all of you with an account (and we strongly suggest you get one if you don't already have one).

This is your classic girl meets girl at boarding school and experiences a sexual awakening story. Therese and Isabelle begins and ends with Therese as an older woman, visiting the Swiss boarding school of her youth. As she progresses from room to room, memories flood her vision of all of her lesbian romps with Isabelle and the movie takes us back in time to play out the course of their relationship.

From looking at this movie, we assumed it was going to be very tame and campy. We expected at most a kiss, but maybe one of those cleverly filmed sex scenes where all the real action is obscured. However, what we got was something straight out of a 50's lesbian pulp novel. The actresses are surprisingly hot, and not even that bad at acting. There are at least 3 sex scenes in the movie, which wouldn't be very graphic themselves if it weren't for the extremely vulgar narrative over top of it. Therese is the main character, dealing with problems ranging from her mother's new husband to her new found insatiable desire for Isabelle. Isabelle is more free and light hearted, causing issues between the two. Most viewers will probably find themselves sympathizing with Therese on several occasions. This story really is, after all, just a story about the intensity of first love.

Although the ending is somewhat of a let down, we were forced to give this movie 5/5. It's surprising, oddly sexy, and so classically vintage... we just couldn't resist loving it.

View the trailer here.

Welcome

Hi guys!

We are Chloe and Lia and we are lesbians. We got sick and tired of wasting our netflix rentals, money and time on crappy lesbian films that either don't really have lesbians in them or the lesbian returns to dick or it's so badly made you can't even enjoy the film.

We are not experts, we are just living in the 21st century and can therefore boast our opinions on the internet.

Enjoy.